Clever. I think the OP on Youtube calls it the Ultimate Tease. It is!

Here’s my promise to you: if you don’t laugh, I’ll owe you $5. Put it on my tab.

More cartoons:

1. It’s true, a dog always upstages the actors.
2. Nancy and Sluggo-Dogs 2

random photo of the old football coach Ken Tenaka, good actor

Didn’t like any of the songs in Audition, and turned the sound down. Thought the new blond, quasi-Derek Hough was okay. The Filipino girl was kind of cute but didn’t like her voice. Quinn is one of my faves and she had only one line, if that, and no close ups.

The new football coach is the biggest fugly lesbo I’ve ever seen in any show, anywhere. Just an awful actress But will she get together with Jane Lynch, who outed herself this year as gay? Who knows. Typical Ryan Murphy, telling himself he’s pushing boundaries, by pushing his agenda in the face of straight people. (and picking unattractive people to prove he’s…not ugly?)

Let’s keep score on the gay list so far on the show:

Chris Colfer, Kurt, in real life and on the show. He outs himself to his father every other episode, so we’ll probably have another outing next week.

Jane Lynch, gay only in real life. I was disappointed to find this out about her, as it was so much more unusual to have a dowdy straight woman character who had given up on men.

Principal Figgins (Igbal Theba) only in real life. Outed himself years ago.

Not gay:

Matthew Morrison, (thank God), according to ELLE. I read an interview with him in the LA Times and he was ambiguous, however.

Jessalyn Gilsig (Terri Schuester), who I also really like. There was an interview with her in the LA Times, too, in a section called My Favorite Weekend.  As usual in the Times site, navigation sucks, so you can’t find it now. It’s one of my favorite features, about how celebrities spend their weekend. Anyway, she talked about her family, and about a coffee shop/restaurant, 5 minutes from me that she liked, and which uses, according to her, sterling silver flatware! Let me assure you – NOT true! But that was a true Terri comment, was it not?

Jayma Mays ( Emma) who’s married. No Emma in this episode. :(

This episode didn’t have either Terri or Emma, so I’ve already forgotten what happened in it, but the main point is, did Lea Michele have plastic surgery? She looked shockingly different to me- like 5 years older -, and I don’t think it was just the horrible bangs. I happened to meet the makeup artist for Glee, so this is the first thing I’ll ask her next time I see her.

Why is the writing on this show so terribly uneven? Could it be that one Mr. Murphy is trying to politicize what is basically a great show? I didn’t see the second half of last season, as they positioned it opposite Lost, and I had to watch Lost.  So I saw 2 old episodes from the first season last week.

The first was Journey, the season finale which I loved, which again had me in tears the whole way. On the same night, the other episode  sucked big time, awful stuff, Theatricality. Finn has to move in with Kurt and his dad, since his mom sold their house, and then is KICKED OUT of the house because he has to share a room with gay Kurt, and calls him faggy. Yes, because if you have an argument with your roommate, you should lose your home.

STFU with your life lessons, Ryan Murphy, and btw, you’re so so gay.

Ooh, have to quote the Sarcaster on Television without Pity:

Things that bugged me:

1) Rachel is now an insecure psycopath? What alternate earth is this from what we saw last season?

2) Santana has a boob job? WTF? Really?

3) Brittany claiming SH against coach Beiste fell completely flat and wayyyy over the top. Lame!

4) Sunshine Corazon – unnecessary casting and the defection immediately VA was pathetic.

5) The whole “Artie tries out for football” thing was a complete fail and possibly the lamest reason ever to use as reason for getting Finn kicked off the Football team

6) Worse yet, Finn trying out for the Cheerios was yet another uber-fail. Finn was supposed to be above all that.

7) I am glad they could fit a little bit of Glee inbetween all those commercials. It was like: 1:3 ratio of Glee to commercials. Thanks for selling out completely RM!

The dialogue in this episode that I hated most, from Kurt, the outing-est outer that ever did out himself:

“I’m proud to be different. It’s the best thing about me.”

Really? That’s the best thing about you, that you’re gay? Where does that leave us straight people? Not so good, I guess. Also, I’m thinking you’re not such a good singer, if your real talent is “being gay.”

Signing off from this blogger,  who  is proud to be just one more straight girl in the crowd. It’s the best thing about me.

More cartoons:

1. Is Glee too gay?
2. Glee, stop trying to teach us lessons.

hollywood producer cartoon in new yorker style

You got your palm trees, your men in colorful flowered shirts, and the strange, violent language. The posters on the wall, and the script in his hand, just add to the fun.

Of course, only 3 New Yorker cartoonists actually live out here: Leo Cullum, Bruce Eric Kaplan, and me. Bruce actually writes on some tv shows – or he did, and I’ve worked in the studios for years, so at least we know the territory. Leo was a pilot. But other cartoonists continue to pretend they understand the business – Barsotti is one of the worst.

For Illustration Friday, subject: equipment. But for some reason I thought this week’s subject was toolbox! So then I remembered my fixit man cartoon, from my Love Me or Go To Hell book, but I used that one before. So then I found this one, with a …hammer. That’s equipment, isn’t it?

This is a rough, obviously. I kind of like it.

Caption:  Two men in production office in Hollywood. No more figures, Sam. Figures choke me. Hammer me with your gut instinct.

And I have been thinking about scriptwriting again, anyway and going back to the Scriptwriters Network. I think I will.

More cartoons:

1. Which came first, Democrats or Republicans?
2. When people read magazines

Oops, did I spoil the cartoon? For Illustration Friday: propagate is the challenge. And chickens do that.

This is an easy idea to tinker with, if you’re good with words. The ending to Which came first, could be anything, and I think I’ve come up with half a dozen gags over the years. But politics has been a big part of my life this last year, working for Slate, so these hens have that on their mind, too.

I’ve been thinking recently about New Yorker cartoons vs Editorial cartoons – which I’m spending most of my time doing  now. New Yorker cartoons are easy, so easy that anyone can do it, and they can and do, with the little caption contests. I haven’t looked at the contests in years, but there are many clever entries, I’m sure.

“But I can’t draw,” they sigh. That’s what she said.

That’s what I said. I wanted to write them, not draw them, but I sent ideas to a couple of New Yorker guys, they said they didn’t buy gags, and I gave up on just writing right away. I’d have to learn to draw. Sigh.

I still don’t know if I CAN draw, but I like my drawings, and editors seem to, too. Remember, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks – you only have to please one person, the editor. (Although I sure like fan mail when I get it, and requests for books or originals!)

But political cartoons – you can’t believe how much harder they are. First of all, you have to know things, like current events, a little history. You can’t get by with a turn of phrase or a sick pun. Then there’s the people – you have to draw REAL PEOPLE! I’m not a caricaturist, nor are any magazine cartoonists I know of. But for political cartoons you have to draw people in the news who are recognizable. That takes research and practice, and sketches and study.

Then you have to take this real person or event or situation and make it funny. That might be the hardest, although for me it’s the most fun. But it can’t be word games. Almost all New Yorker cartoons are word play, which is why they’re so easy. Op-ed cartoons have to be like a good novel or script – the caption and humor must come from the character!

I’m the only New Yorker cartoonist or magazine cartoonist who has made the off-balance crazy jump into editorial cartoons. I had no idea it would be this hard, this time-consuming – and this much fun.

I kind of envy the New Yorker guys leisurely thinking of 10 good gags before lunch, however. I used to be them. Now I still do some of that, since I have to pay the bills, plus get to the really hard part of the day -  writing an op-ed cartoon that is relevant, makes sense, pops the color or design, and, if I’m lucky, is funny.

Cartoon Caption: My question is, which came first, Democrats or Republicans?

More cartoons:

1. Hammer me.
2. I’m not like Ikea, I judge.