Sexy lingerie doesn't mean great sex

Will wearing beautiful lingerie bring more romance and love to your lovemaking? I wish I knew. It’s fun to try on pretty underclothes, and even more fun to buy, that I do know. You know you will feel good, anyway, and isn’t that what matters?

For Illustration Friday, with the subject of : Warning. (I mean, really, what did they expect?!)

I think I did this cartoon originally for Cosmopolitan or Glamour or even Playgirl. I used to sell cartoons to all of them, when magazines were thick and healthy, and life was good.

Cartoon caption: Woman walks by women’s clothes store called Frankly Female Lingerie. Sign in window says: WARNING: We cannot guarantee great sex.

Subject for Illustration Friday: Swarm.

Naturally, one thinks of insects, bees, in a swarm. But what about reporters, hmmm? They swarm, and not in an attractive way.

Married Calfornia state assemblyman steps down after he might have had a sexual relationship with a lobbyist, or just talked about it

The news media jumped all over Assemblyman Mike Duvall after it was reported that he MAY have had “relations”, as Bill Clinton liked to put it, with a couple of women in the legislature, including a lobbyist. Sure, men talk about sex a lot, but so what? It was off the record, Assemblyman Duvall talking with another legislator, next to a mic that no one knew was turned on. (this might be a double entendre)

As far as I know, talk is cheap. No one proved, or attempted to prove, anything. Duvall quit the next day. :(

Cartoon caption: How awful! Not only did this man have sex, he talked about it to his good friend! Honey, I’m still wearing that chastity belt you bought me for my birthday.

This is one of my favorite political cartoons in 2009! More about the news event, and why I did the cartoon, at the link.

I don’t think so.

random photo of the old football coach Ken Tenaka, good actor

Didn’t like any of the songs in Audition, and turned the sound down. Thought the new blond, quasi-Derek Hough was okay. The Filipino girl was kind of cute but didn’t like her voice. Quinn is one of my faves and she had only one line, if that, and no close ups.

The new football coach is the biggest fugly lesbo I’ve ever seen in any show, anywhere. Just an awful actress But will she get together with Jane Lynch, who outed herself this year as gay? Who knows. Typical Ryan Murphy, telling himself he’s pushing boundaries, by pushing his agenda in the face of straight people. (and picking unattractive people to prove he’s…not ugly?)

Let’s keep score on the gay list so far on the show:

Chris Colfer, Kurt, in real life and on the show. He outs himself to his father every other episode, so we’ll probably have another outing next week.

Jane Lynch, gay only in real life. I was disappointed to find this out about her, as it was so much more unusual to have a dowdy straight woman character who had given up on men.

Principal Figgins (Igbal Theba) only in real life. Outed himself years ago.

Not gay:

Matthew Morrison, (thank God), according to ELLE. I read an interview with him in the LA Times and he was ambiguous, however.

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From the clever commenters on Television Without Pity:

That was the only bit I rewound last night, and on rewind it looked like Jennifer just barely managed to keep her foot dragging the floor on that move. But yeah, he was definitely taking all her weight, which is what I would consider a lift.

I don’t believe it’s actually considered a lift as long as that foot stays dragging on the floor.

And from Oakgal: It was a lift.

Derek and Jennifer lift in Viennese waltz

Good catch, oakgal! And take that, anal Carrie Anne, who sucks all the joy out of watching when she points out mistakes as if she won points. And they aren’t even mistakes in dancing, they’re just errors on this particular show.

Anyway, results are in, and the Hoff is gone. Too bad, I found him entertaining, which is half the show. Plus I always like Kym and her routines. (But put on a pound or two, dear!)

It was pretty suspenseful. Got bored with the music, though. And grips and best boys, I CAN’T SEE THE DANCERS WHEN YOU BACKLIGHT THEM. And make them weird colors.

But wow, what does it say about the producers when they make Adam Corolla boring? Happened before, too. I can’t believe he wrote the factual text, and the visuals were underwelming. Didn’t laugh once, and I loved him when he was on the show, and even listened to his show a few times afterwards.

Other comments on TWOP I enjoyed:

Anna/Corky has to be the oddest pro pairing I’ve seen in awhile.

I’m so glad the show passed over the encore in favor of more comedy with Adam. I was worried we wouldn’t have enough filler.

With Kyle’s scores (overscored last night IMO) and being in the fake bottom 2, they are trying to drum up support for him.

Too early for grassy knoll, but the show mentioned Kurt vs Rick again.

It’s never too early for grassy knoll, as Len would say. And never too early to dread judge favoritism.

I like all of the stars so far this season! So no grumpies. Yet.

Audrina did very well, I thought, and had a sweet personality. Suspicions of the  judges begins right now, since I think they underscored her terribly. In the rehearsals Tony looked shocked that he had a natural dancer on his hands for once!

Brandy was younger than I thought. She was good, didn’t wow me. I liked how happy she was at her scores.

rick fox cheryl burke

Margaret Cho was fun! Sort of sincere, modest. I thought it was a funny performance, once I knew it was supposed to be. She worked hard. As usual, Louis made an offcolor remark – he was even more vulgar on Bachelor Pad. Not my favorite pro.

Kurt Warner – way to bore me, showing your way too big, over-populated family. Shut up with your wife and too many kids. Dancing was attractive.

Michael Bolton – I felt so sorry for him! Way out of his element – just a bad dancer. And he looked so self-conscious.  Chelsie always has a kind of bored/spoiled look, as usual.

Rick Fox brought the sexy, and Cheryl is the consummate professional, and improved it! Really looking forward to more from them.

Bristol Palin was bad, but sweet. Just a normal girl, and we’d all probably do the same as her. I saw Mark actually act spontaneously for the first time in forever – he  broke down and laughed when she answered Brooke’s question with just one sentence.

Florence Henderson – careful. Much better than Chloris. (throw up)

Kyle Massey – almost forgot him. Well, I forgot him while I was watching him and the newly blonde still showing off Lacey. I couldn’t believe the judges. Don’t believe them. Carrie Anne, you look stupid trying to chair dance and look cool.

Jennifer Grey and Derek – I got tearful when she did over Patrick Swayze (and we all know they didn’t get along on the movie, but she is missing that experience), and did I see Derek shed a tear, as well? I thought she was very good, but not necessarily better than everyone. Judges, you lie.

David Hasselhoff – pretty bad, but also funny and candid, which counts for a lot. How old is he? Acts like he’s 60. Kym looks the skinniest ever – bad, actually. I think she’s at a dangerous weight.

Oops, forgot The Situation and Karina! I liked him. He seemed ready to work hard. Karina was laughing a lot, so she likes him – she flirts really well, doesn’t she?

Talking about dangerous, I don’t watch Ellen (youtube here which they don’t let you share), but I wanted to see the segment today on Riley, a dog found by climber Zak Anderegg while he was 350 feet underground, exploring a canyon cave. (Here’s his Facebook page.) Some ahole DUMPED the dog there, left him to die in the dark, underground, on a tiny little ledge. Read more »

From the Hollywood Reporter, a news item they claim is exclu. (their ridiculous made up half word, not mine.)

According to a source involved with casting, the network approached Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg to join the dance card for the show’s 11th cycle but was unable to secure him. The network also lobbied unsuccessfully for Sylvester Stallone, political commentator Ann Coulter, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the real Erin Brockovich, billionaire Richard Branson, comic actor Tim Allen and former TV darling Suzanne Somers.

Bristol Palin, daughter of former GOP vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin, already has been dubbed this season’s Kate Gosselin, who was famously difficult at times last season.

“Bristol was really annoyed by all the questions about whether her mom would be in the audience to support her,” the source said. “She kept complaining about the amount of press she had to do. She is acting like this is all a big pain.”

I don’t believe that about Bristol. Kate wasn’t at all difficult last season – everything we saw showed she was hesitant, maybe reluctant, and she didn’t work very hard, but she wasn’t the problem – Tony was the prima donna, refusing to listen to her, not letting her finish talking, and totally assy acting. I wouldn’t trust anything Tony says now. He’s the teacher, not the star.

patrick swayze and Jennifer grey hot - okay, superhot

Anyway, this just sounds like a disgruntled Lib. Lots of them on Hollywood sets.

But the best part of the article is the MONEY!

According to the casting source, all contestants earn equal compensation for the show, subject to their ability to avoid elimination.

With a $345,000 pot up for grabs during the 10 weeks of airtime, the source said each star makes an initial $125,000 for signing, three weeks of rehearsal before the premiere and competing in the first two episodes, even if the cast member is cut after the first dance.

The breakdown for the remaining weeks is $10,000 an episode for Weeks 3 and 4, $20,000 an episode for Weeks 5 and 6, $30,000 an episode for Weeks 7 and 8, and $50,000 an episode for the final two weeks.

The production source said contestants forfeit a portion of their salary if they fail to meet the ultra-strict rehearsal schedule.

“Initially, they rehearse six hours a day, every day,” the source said. “Then it moves to eight hours a day. If they don’t comply with the entire schedule, the network will deduct it from their paycheck.”

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