Like a nose job or boob job, but not as permanent.

Topic for Illustration Friday: artificial.

grey hair cartoon

Btw, the TWOP boards are suggesting that after Ali finished the Bachelorette she got a nose job.

I have no opinion to offer on this. I never even notice people’s noses, except if they are particularly large. I ran into Michael Richards while he was still taping Seinfeld, in a used book store in North Hollywood. He had ordered an art book for his wife.

Of course I was thrilled to see him – Seinfeld was at it’s height of popularity at the time – but standing next to him, I was shocked, I mean really, at the size of his nose. That was the main thing I remember about him. Later I ate at the Stinking Rose, in Beverly Hills, and they have portraits of large-nosed people, and his portrait was there.

There is a female cartoonist who shall remain nameless, who has the biggest nose I’ve ever seen on a woman. Again, I was shocked, and felt bad and embarrassed for her. Yes, in this case she should have gotten it fixed. She’s very successful – she can afford it.

Ali, I don’t know. Before a nose job she should have paid for a good haircut, lose the stinking extensions, and LEARN HOW TO DRESS. I have never seen someone dress so badly ever, when she has a really good figure.  Sad.

Thin people look younger. Take heed, Los Angeles.

Topic for Illustration Friday: skinny.

This is also Wordless Wednesday, but forget that idea right now. I will never be wordless. Back when people designed stationary I designed some for editors that said at the bottom, …because pictures speak louder with words. A cartoon is not an illustration, and vice versa!

In a good cartoon, the words and pic work together, and one without the other isn’t so funny. If the gag doesn’t work, it’s just stupid. But if it’s a good gag, you need to up your drawing to keep pace with it, and make it even better. There’s a background, a time and place and future in a good cartoon. It’s your stage, so use it wisely.

I did this cartoon for my 2nd book, Love Me or Go To Hell: True Love Cartoons. One of my great cartoon contributors, Stephanie Piro, had thought up the first part of the title a few years ago, and offered it for this project. I added the 2nd part, to make sure readers knew it was a book about loving men, not hating them!   Read more »

Avia gold running shoes and a perky Clementine.

Mervyn’s is going out of business. That makes me very very sad. I bought my underwear, jammies, workout wear, and most sneakers there. They didn’t have very good clothes, but they had a smart jewelry buyer, and I did like some of their fashion jewelry, and gold and silver.

I found these sassy running shoes at half off – they’re Avia, too. I never knew I wanted gold sneakers until now! They’re just this side of ghetto brassy. And yet so tastefully annointed, encased in powerful white stripes! The box describes the shoes as Avia Convexus – White, Natural, and Dark Purple- what, no love for the gold?! I wondered if the wrong shoes were in the box, but no, there is that little dab of purple at the heel and the top.

They’ll never look as new as this again, so here is my homage. I had a clementine on the counter, so there you go, the classic 3 objects that make good design. If you wish to do the same, found some similar crazy purple running shoes here. Free return shipping? Yeah, that’s crazy.

I was too late to get any good bras, though, damn it. Good bras are essential – at a good price, of course. I even liked their house brand, Partners. I went to a real bra fitter once, at Macy’s I think it was. I wanted an expert. She said the type I prefer is called torpedo shaped. Now, guys – (and there should not BE any men reading this, since this is Ladies Only), that doesn’t mean Madonna! Or just Madonna! We all get to pick our own shape.

Most of what they had left was padded (don’t need), and minimizers (don’t want.) Some things don’t need improvement.

“Happiness is getting my paycheck and finding a clearance sale on the same day.” © D. Barstow

For Illustration Friday, topic: Similar.

Isn’t there some kind of milk called Similac? Anyway, my interpretation was SAME, similar to similar. Done on the fly.

This isn’t that funny. It’s more of a true thing – people like it because it’s about them, and speaks to their character. I do know the irresistible pull of a big sale – a deep, deep slashed first pick sale, with things in my size and colors. I notice one of the women has a MAC bag. That is because MAC is my favorite makeup ever. They never have sales (that I know of), but they are reasonably priced, and have very high quality cosmetics. (I have seen their collections discounted in an outlet store, but we don’t have any of those near here.) This is the time of year when they have Special Collections, like little teeny tiny lipsticks in a metal box, or brushes, or the greatest eye shadow pencils. They might be sold out already. Sigh.

Their lipstick and eyeshadow lasts for a long time on your lips and eyes, and the packaging is so well designed! I could go on and on, but then I’d have to go get my own bag of bag of MAC.