My political cartoons for Slate have all been moved to The Opposite of Wrong, where I skewer all the cartoons!
Whoa, Jimmy, I’ve been pretty disappointed in you the last couple years, as you broke up with the captivating and beautiful Sarah Silverman, made even more stupid jokes about older people, overused your overacting security guard, Guillermo and your dull uncle Frank, and TOTALLY IGNORED the death of your other security guard, Veatrice. I was so shocked when you casually announced last January that she was DEAD.? I thought it was a joke. She was your only natural funny person. I liked her. You sucked, Jimmy.
But I still do watch you, sometimes – love the Cousin Sal bits the most, and the Dancing with the Star losers.
I got all excited when you announced that Governor Rod Blagojevich was going to be on last week. I did a Blagojevich cartoon a few months ago, and was fascinated by him last winter as he got knocked down and just kept on coming. Plus, I tend to like Mafia types. Your first interview that night was a man who is married to Mariah Carey. Don’t know his name, but that’s all you talked with him about. You were all awkward, kiss-ass, and uncomfortable.
Then Ex-Governor Blagojevich came on (I think he’s ex-gov) to pitch his new book, called The Governor– so maybe he’s not an ex-governor? I found him very interesting. He said there were a lot of secret tapes that he is NOT allowed to talk about, that would clear his name, and that the whole scandal is upside down. Hmm. So you let him talk about that – and he is an interesting speaker – and then you made him talk about his hair, and how he conditions it. Funny as hell. The 2 of you hit it off, didn’t you? Youtube.
You also offered to sell the chair he was sitting in on set in ebay. I thought it might be a joke, but he signed it, and here it is on ebay! It’s in the closed section, so you have to be signed in to see it, I think, and it will only be up a month from now, as it just sold, so here’s the description:
– For sale: former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s seat from the set of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
– custom made
– 33″ long x 35″ deep x 35″ tall
– perfect for home, office or prison
– relatively hair-free
– start your own Smithsonian!
– celebrities who have previously sat in this seat include:
*Shaq
*Paris Hilton
*Mel Gibson
*Megan Fox
*Matthew Fox
*Jamie Foxx
*Gerard Butler
*Jonas Brothers
*Shia LaBeouf
*Tom Cruise
*Jennifer Connelly
*Denzel Washington
*Mariah Carey
*Robin Williams
*Adam Sandler
*Kobe Bryant
*Regis Philbin
*Kelly Ripa
*Seth Rogen
*Charlize Theron
*Anne Hathaway
*Eminem
All proceeds from this purchase will go toward putting people to work (as per former Governor Rod Blagojevich).
It got 67 bids and $10,200 for the people of Chicago. Good for everyone.
You got me back on this one, Jim-boy.
I write more about the hair-man – TWO men with big hair, actually – here.
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