I don't Watch TV - Donna Barstow Blog #2

Jake Pavelka is okay, Ali not so much.

Note: I wrote this two years ago. Why post it now? It makes me laugh. And I found Jake’s season of the Bachelor more interesting than Des’s right now. *

I would like to take this opportunity to say this season of the Bachelor is a big snore, Rozlyn for the next Bachelorette, and I hate Facebook, not necessarily in that order.

Oh, and Barnes at Television Without Pity still sucks.

jake pavelka as bachelor, season one million and ten

This is a short season of The Bachelor, with only 2 more episodes to go, Women Tell All and The Final Rose. Jakey is demanding and picky, always hot in our Bachelor, and kicked Bachelorettes off left and right. As many of us on the boards (I’m not on the boards, rhetorical here) have said since the first episode, the most appealing lady, the pilot for the Army or Marines or something was absolutely our first pick, even though she got booted off the first show. I’m not sure why we all liked her. But producers take note, and make her the next Bachelorette, pls.

I liked Gia a lot, but she had a lot of strange mannerisms with her hair in her face, ducking her head, and standing knock-kneed. Hell, they got rid of Jen’s huge mole when she became Bachelorette, so these aren’t really obstacles. Many viewers thought Gia was gorgeous; I thought she was just pretty, but honest and playful, which won me over. I do think she and Jake were pretty hot together – steam rising there, and that was a nice change from watching him try to be interesting.

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By Donna Barstow

Season 2 Glee Auditions for more Emmys.

I don’t think so.

random photo of the old football coach ken Tenaka, good actor — random photo of the old football coach Ken Tenaka, good actor

Didn’t like any of the songs in Audition, and turned the sound down. Thought the new blond, quasi-Derek Hough was okay. The Filipino girl was kind of cute but didn’t like her voice. Quinn is one of my faves and she had only one line, if that, and no close ups.

The new football coach is the biggest fugly lesbo I’ve ever seen in any show, anywhere. Just an awful actress But will she get together with Jane Lynch, who outed herself this year as gay? Who knows. Typical Ryan Murphy, telling himself he’s pushing boundaries, by pushing his agenda in the face of straight people. (and picking unattractive people to prove he’s…not ugly?)

Let’s keep score on the gay list so far on the show:

Chris Colfer, Kurt, in real life and on the show. He outs himself to his father every other episode, so we’ll probably have another outing next week.

Jane Lynch, gay only in real life. I was disappointed to find this out about her, as it was so much more unusual to have a dowdy straight woman character who had given up on men.

Principal Figgins (Igbal Theba) only in real life. Outed himself years ago.

Not gay:

Matthew Morrison, (thank God), according to ELLE. I read an interview with him in the LA Times and he was ambiguous, however.

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By Donna Barstow

Illegal lift in DWTS and voting results.

From the clever commenters on Television Without Pity: That was the only bit I rewound last night, and on rewind it looked like Jennifer just barely managed to keep her…

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dancing with the stars dwts

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By Donna Barstow

It’s true, a dog always upstages the actors.

I like all of the stars so far this season! So no grumpies. Yet.

Audrina did very well, I thought, and had a sweet personality. Suspicions of the? judges begins right now, since I think they underscored her terribly. In the rehearsals Tony looked shocked that he had a natural dancer on his hands for once!

Brandy was younger than I thought. She was good, didn’t wow me. I liked how happy she was at her scores.

Margaret Cho was fun! Sort of sincere, modest. I thought it was a funny performance, once I knew it was supposed to be. She worked hard. As usual, Louis made an offcolor remark – he was even more vulgar on Bachelor Pad. Not my favorite pro.

Kurt Warner – way to bore me, showing your way too big, over-populated family. Shut up with your wife and too many kids. Dancing was attractive.

Michael Bolton – I felt so sorry for him! Way out of his element – just a bad dancer. And he looked so self-conscious.? Chelsie always has a kind of bored/spoiled look, as usual.

Rick Fox brought the sexy, and Cheryl is the consummate professional, and improved it! Really looking forward to more from them.

Bristol Palin was bad, but sweet. Just a normal girl, and we’d all probably do the same as her. I saw Mark actually act spontaneously for the first time in forever – he? broke down and laughed when she answered Brooke’s question with just one sentence.

Florence Henderson – careful. Much better than Chloris. (throw up)

Kyle Massey – almost forgot him. Well, I forgot him while I was watching him and the newly blonde still showing off Lacey. I couldn’t believe the judges. Don’t believe them. Carrie Anne, you look stupid trying to chair dance and look cool.

Jennifer Grey and Derek – I got tearful when she did over Patrick Swayze (and we all know they didn’t get along on the movie, but she is missing that experience), and did I see Derek shed a tear, as well? I thought she was very good, but not necessarily better than everyone. Judges, you lie.

David Hasselhoff – pretty bad, but also funny and candid, which counts for a lot. How old is he? Acts like he’s 60. Kym looks the skinniest ever – bad, actually. I think she’s at a dangerous weight.

Oops, forgot The Situation and Karina! I liked him. He seemed ready to work hard. Karina was laughing a lot, so she likes him – she flirts really well, doesn’t she?

Talking about dangerous, I don’t watch Ellen (youtube here which they don’t let you share), but I wanted to see the segment today on Riley, a dog found by climber Zak Anderegg while he was 350 feet underground, exploring a canyon cave. (Here’s his Facebook page.) Some ahole DUMPED the dog there, left him to die in the dark, underground, on a tiny little ledge.

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dancing with the stars dwts

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By Donna Barstow

Donna does DWTS in her head.

From the Hollywood Reporter, a news item they claim is exclu. (their ridiculous made up half word, not mine.)

According to a source involved with casting, the network approached Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg to join the dance card for the show’s 11th cycle but was unable to secure him. The network also lobbied unsuccessfully for Sylvester Stallone, political commentator Ann Coulter, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the real Erin Brockovich, billionaire Richard Branson, comic actor Tim Allen and former TV darling Suzanne Somers.

Bristol Palin, daughter of former GOP vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin, already has been dubbed this season’s Kate Gosselin, who was famously difficult at times last season.

“Bristol was really annoyed by all the questions about whether her mom would be in the audience to support her,” the source said. “She kept complaining about the amount of press she had to do. She is acting like this is all a big pain.”

I don’t believe that about Bristol. Kate wasn’t at all difficult last season – everything we saw showed she was hesitant, maybe reluctant, and she didn’t work very hard, but she wasn’t the problem – Tony was the prima donna, refusing to listen to her, not letting her finish talking, and totally assy acting. I wouldn’t trust anything Tony says now. He’s the teacher, not the star.

patrick swayze and Jennifer grey hot - okay, superhot

Anyway, this just sounds like a disgruntled Lib. Lots of them on Hollywood sets.

But the best part of the article is the MONEY!

According to the casting source, all contestants earn equal compensation for the show, subject to their ability to avoid elimination.

With a $345,000 pot up for grabs during the 10 weeks of airtime, the source said each star makes an initial $125,000 for signing, three weeks of rehearsal before the premiere and competing in the first two episodes, even if the cast member is cut after the first dance.

The breakdown for the remaining weeks is $10,000 an episode for Weeks 3 and 4, $20,000 an episode for Weeks 5 and 6, $30,000 an episode for Weeks 7 and 8, and $50,000 an episode for the final two weeks.

The production source said contestants forfeit a portion of their salary if they fail to meet the ultra-strict rehearsal schedule.

“Initially, they rehearse six hours a day, every day,” the source said. “Then it moves to eight hours a day. If they don’t comply with the entire schedule, the network will deduct it from their paycheck.”

Read MoreDonna does DWTS in her head.

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By Donna Barstow

Six stinkers suck on Bachelor Pad.

Of course, I mean the remaining six on Bachelor Pad.

This was such a CHEAP, CHEAP show – get out of my life. The dates are so lame – I think they were all within 3 miles of the house or so. So boring to look at. And since it’s cheaper to film in daytime, the lame “contests” – as if spin the bottle was a contest in any way – and I hope they saved money on that one by using one of their own empty wine bottles – have the contestants all squinting, all ugly, in the hot sun.

Now, the people: I really liked Gia, even though she played the game so poorly. Wes seemed pretty sincere – I was one of the few who liked him in Jillian’s season. It was Fleiss who did a number on him.

I liked a lot of the women – Nikki, Ashley, and especially Krisily – she’s an outspoken girl of my own heart! That’s exactly how I would have played it, too, and lost! All gone now.

Peyton was the last girl I liked, and now she’s gone. I could call the remaining six names, but why bring myself down – they’re all undeserving of the win. I have to say, however, that even though Kiptyn fancies himself a good person, I DON’T THINK SO. Cannot stand fake Tenley, and David Good is the worst.

On a much more interesting note, I saw Vienna today!!! I hardly ever recognize anyone, and it’s not a spot where I would expect to see even a reality star: in Joann’s Fabrics, in Glendale!

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By Donna Barstow

Let’s talk about hair.

A hair job? Like a nose job or boob job, but not as permanent. Topic for Illustration Friday: artificial. You know, like dying gray hair is artificial. Btw, the TWOP…

I don't Watch TV New Yorker cartoons

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