Aug 20 2010

Aliens like People, they really really like them.

For Illustration Friday: star gazing.

aliens subscribe to people magazine

aliens subscribe to people magazine

Or planet plumpers. Who knows what that star is…most are planets, right?

Since I’m a night owl, I often look at the night sky and try to remember the constellations. I also take a moonlight hike with a group if I have time, and we all have a party at the top!

This is the month for shooting stars, and tonight I shall look for them.

Caption: Scientists talking to department head: We were going over those radio waves from star 54527, and, well, they’d like the latest issue of “People”.

Aug 13 2010

The caged bird talks, too.

bird talks to cat cartoon

bird tells cat he really really likes him

For Illustration Friday – I don’t remember the subject now!

Cartoon Caption: Bird says to cat, “I really wish you’d read Cats Who Hate Birds and the Birds who Love them.”

Obviously, the bird is hoping to make the cat like him, and not in an eating way, but you won’t really get this cartoon unless you have heard of an uber-popular book for women that came out a few years ago, and is still in print: Men Who Hate Women, and the Women Who Love Them.

Yes, talk shows actually took this book seriously. I guess it’s for women in abusive relationships.

Or cats and dogs, or birds and cats.

Aug 06 2010

Let’s talk about hair.

A hair job? Like a nose job or boob job, but not as permanent.

Topic for Illustration Friday: artificial. You know, like dying gray hair is artificial.

grey hair cartoon

gray hair cartoon

Btw, the TWOP boards are suggesting that after Ali finished the Bachelorette she got a nose job.

I have no opinion to offer on this. I never even notice people’s noses, except if they are particularly large. I ran into Michael Richards while he was still taping Seinfeld, in a used book store in North Hollywood. He had ordered an art book for his wife.

Of course I was thrilled to see him – Seinfeld was at its height of popularity at the time – but standing next to him, I was shocked at the size of his nose. That was the main thing I remember about him. Later I ate at the Stinking Rose, in Beverly Hills, and they have portraits of large-nosed people, and his portrait was there.

There is a female cartoonist who shall remain nameless, who has the biggest nose I’ve ever seen on a woman. Again, I was shocked, and felt bad and embarrassed for her. Why didn’t she get it fixed? She’s very successful – she can afford it.

Ali, I don’t know. Before a nose job she should have paid for a good haircut, lost the stinking extensions, and LEARNED HOW TO DRESS. I have never seen someone dress so badly ever, when she has a really good figure.  Sad. Also, I think she was the worst Bachelorette ever.

Cartoon caption: 2 women chat at dressing table, and one says Every time I find a new gray hair, a fairy dies. (like Peter Pan’s fairy).

Of course, your friends always think you look great, with or without Clairol.

Jul 30 2010

Seeing double at the ice cream bar.

For Illustration Friday, subject is: double.

241c

cartoon of fat women and thin women wanting ice cream

Which is what you’ll become if you eat too many of these. My friend Candy (her real name) says the reason ice cream sundaes are so good is that they combine the hot sauce with the cold ice cream. I had never thought of that combination as the key factor, but I believe she’s right.

Caption: What fat women daydream about, what thin women daydream about: a hot fudge sundae.

Jul 13 2010

The trouble with Television without Pity is Barnes.

The Bachelor and Bachelorette forums on Television Without Pity (TWOP) should be fun. Right? The show is a ridiculous idea, dramatically staged, and at least recently, nice eye candy in different countries. The mainly women audience is full of  stories of our own durm and strang in the dating trenches. Or, it should be, if it wasn’t being constantly chided and squashed and slashed by the worst, most overcontrolling mod on TWoP, Barnes. What a witch, and I’m so tempted to use the b word.

bachelorette ali on jimmy kimmel

bachelorette ali on jimmy kimmel

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Jul 09 2010

Bug cartoon.

For Illustration Friday: subject is GIANT. Well, we look like giants to them. But my real giant – the only cartoon I’ve ever done with one! – is here. That was another topic for IF!

INSECTS CONTROL THE FUTURE CARTOON

INSECTS CONTROL THE FUTURE CARTOON

Caption: Never forget, Benton, the future is ours.

You always read that at the world’s end, only the insects will survive to live another day.  Bugs will inherit the earth. Makes sense. They say it about roaches, but they are too disgusting to draw, so I picked some generic beetle.

I kind of like drawing bugs, if there was more of a market for them! What about a comic panel called Ugly… Would you read it?

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